Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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