What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize