My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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