I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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