ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
