my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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