help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
