okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Rumble strips road head = magical
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize