pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
