My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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