I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
