I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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