Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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