Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize