we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
