Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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