he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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