Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
