Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
All I want is dick and wine.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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