3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Randomize
