Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
