North Korea, Best Korea!
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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