you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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