adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize