We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
