i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
