I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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