Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
