Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize