Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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