glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
