Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
