I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize