If i come over, it means nothing
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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