New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
