dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's never too late to be topless.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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