Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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