I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
