we're blogging at a bar
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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