around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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