the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
