I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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