I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
