The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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