There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
