they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
