Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
