They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
