it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Randomize
