do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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