no more duck duck goose at the bar
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
