Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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