Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
