You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
