I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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