bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
