Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
