Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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