the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
