OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize