Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
