just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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