Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
