Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
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