You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
