my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
