Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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