Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize