Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
