The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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