Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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