Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
