I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im holly from the hills drunk
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
