She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
