We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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