woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize