Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
