WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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