I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
